An Out of Body Experience
Where am I? I am in blackness. Deep, empty blackness. Looking into it I see it stretching infinitely. There is nothing, nothing at all… even I am nothing but a focus, a point, of senses.
Lines appear – luminous green lines. Like the lines of mortar in brickwork, they make a wall, a circular tower, growing around me. At its centre, I rise too, level with its ascending roof. It grows faster…faster. I rise faster… faster…
Below me, the tower plunging earthwards.
The outer darkness
Soon – is it soon? I do not know. I stop rising. The tower disappears. I look out into all that remains – dark, dark blackness. It contains nothing; empty, vast, desolate.
I have risen to a great height. But where am I? I am in space, but where are the stars? There are none. There is nothing here. Even I, I am nothing.
But, hold! I sense… I feel… Something, someone…. behind.
I am not alone.
I turn, and I do more than look: I gaze.
My eyes are glued to this beautiful, beautiful thing. It is the sun, yet it is not the sun. It is white, it is pure, it is radiant, as bright as a thousand suns, and yet I gaze without discomfort.
What is this that I am looking at?
Such beauty. I drink from its pool. And now there is a gentle emanation of love. It is small, seed-like, but it grows.
I gaze, awe-struck, basking in this lovely vision, bathing in its love for me, for my neighbour, for the world.
The love grows and becomes… infinite.
Looking into its beauty, I ask: What is it?
The love slowly, subtly takes a back seat, to be replaced by another emanation, one of… power? As it grows I sense , more and more clearly, that it is power.
Gazing at the light, I know that, whatever this means, the power has become infinite.
I am looking at something of infinite love and infinite power. What is it?
The light speaks to my heart.
I can’t be… I cannot believe… can I? That this light, this love, this power is… the almighty…God?
But I have been an atheist, an eternal unbeliever…
I have mocked your people
I have ripped them down
I feel deep shame. I can gaze no longer on your beautiful face.
Averting my gaze, I look downwards into infinite darkness.
There, far below, is a ring, a chunky gold Brideroom’s wedding ring. It shines with an inner light. On one side is a shining green light; opposite is a bright red light.
I appreciate the pure beauty of the ring, but do not understand.
Beginning to revolve it starts to move away, spinning gracefully. It gets smaller, smaller, smaller…
It is a dot on the horizon, and then it is gone.
Basking in the light
I am left there in the light, with the love, and the power; it pours over me.
Suddenly I’m in the world of concrete and clay again, on the back seat . Feeling washed, clean, new born, I curl into the foetal position.
The passenger in the front looks over his shoulder. “Aaaah,” he says with biting sarcasm, “Little baby.”