Genius? Madness? You choose

By | 05/12/2019

Back home

Back in Coventry I’m in bed, sleepless and alert. Seems I’m not going to sleep for a while. Might as well think about something interesting.

Computer modelling

I go back to computer modelling. People say modelling the entire human body is unfeasible. They may be right. But surely we can start with easier sections, like the skin or the bones. Bit by bit, organ by organ, ligament by tendon, vein by artery, we can build a complete digital human.

We just need patience, vision and belief.

Linking the unlinkable

I remember one writer saying creativity was just finding links between two previously unconnected subjects.

The world’s traffic

Is there anything else, some slightly simpler system that we could complete sooner? There must be one which naturally lends itself to modelling.

I’ll considermy life experiences and career. What different themes can I connect? First, the world of Civil Engineering: Geology. Construction. Foundations. Water engineering. Computing. Traffic.

Insight

Suddenly an insight comes to me. Can I get anything constructive out of linking water engineering and traffic?

Yes! I can computer-model the roads of Britain using the maths of open-channel flow. This must be feasible. For starters, the world’s roads are all mapped out and must be readily available in a digital format. And the maths has already been devised.

All we need to do is to superimpose essential data, such as predicted traffic, accident locations and so on.

Benefits

But what benefits can we draw from this?

It’s obvious really.

Before any journey, drivers will input their destinations. A computer will log their details and provide optimum routes which will be tweaked in real time as necessary.

We’ll be able to predict the lengths of tailbacks, co-ordinate speed signs on motorways, direct vehicles away from obstructions and eliminate queues. Everyone’s journey will be more pleasant and trouble free.

A World-Changer, that’s me!

There must be unlimited problems that I can unleash my enormous intellect on. I go downstairs into the living room and turn the gas fire on.

Wild with excitement, my belly rampaging like a barrel of stoats, I see total logic in emptying my bladder on the fire. It hisses. The flames seem extinguished, but bounce back. Steam rises.

My stream will flow through the pipes into the North Sea, interacting with untapped reserves, forcing them up out of the sea bed into my house, where they will be stored and retailed to raise funds for the needy.

All I need is to recharge my batteries a little. I take a light-bulb out of the ceiling light and stick my finger in the live socket.

Zzzztz! Sparkle-fizz-zzt!

I survey myself for damage: my right index finger seems lightly charred but I have felt no pain. My powers are increasing – I’m heading into a future where my invincibility is total.

Soon I will be leading the nation and the world into a glorious new era of global prosperity and intergalactic exploration!!

Euphoric, I head off to the outside world, on a journey to discover anything and everything that exists. I pound suburban pavements, parks and rubbish-strewn wastegrounds. On and on I go.  Hour after hour. Day, night.

Back at the Base

I find myself close to my base. I drop in to review my campaigns. All the lights are on, the TV is on, the fire is blazing, front and back doors are wide open, as are all the windows. The world and his sister can freely traipse in and have a mother of a party… If they want to have one in a place which for some reason smells like a public lavatory.

That’s me done for today, folks. Do tune in again soon!

Best regards, Marc